Patience is a Virtue

Everyone I know doesn’t think about what they really want in life, and then they always complain about how they wish things were different. My friend who is a manager at a fast food place wishes she didn’t have to work so much so she could spend more time with her kids, but she wont search for any other work options because she feels a sense of security in her job. My friends who just apply at any and every job that is hiring, hoping to land something with a paycheck. Then they are unhappy with their work, where they spend so much of their time.

To me, it’s not worth it. I worked for a year and a half at a job I absolutely hated. I was a cashier in a small convenience store and lost so much time with my kids that I couldn’t get back. After a few years of being in abusive and controlling relationships where I also had no freedom, I have finally come to the conclusion that I am in control of my life and how I want to spend my time. So I am choosing to stay home with my kids, take a few classes at the local community college for business management (I’m only gone a few hours a day instead of full workdays) and I am planning on creating a program to help moms who are needy with cloth diapers.

My logic is that I need to create some sort of income for my children and myself (besides the unreliable child support we get), but I also think it’s important to teach my children to do what makes you happy. I don’t want them to learn that to survive in this world you have to grab the first job you find. They should know that you can be patient and do some soul searching to find what really matters to you. Even if it means you have to live a life of poverty for a little while to experience what it is like to do without all of the luxuries this modern world provides us.

Baby Dreds

Okay, my life keeps changing. Slowly and painfully it keeps evolving into something that I am proud of. I am constantly being challenged and hurt and I think I finally am seeing the light. I am being molded into this person who understands pain and suffering, but still wants to help others. I am not bitter towards life, I embrace it. I am getting to a point that if someone needs help, I will know what to do because I have been in tough situations too, and have the experience. Maybe I am wrong still, maybe that’s not why I have been put through so much suffering. But anyways, on this journey, for some reason I am drawn to a new, intriguing idea…Dredlocks.

I have no clue why all of a sudden on my quest to do good, but I saw a picture of a girl with baby dreds, and I just felt like I needed to do that too. In addition to them looking awesome, they represent to me an open mind. They are a product of love and nurturing. I always feel like my hair need to be straightened and look perfect to fit in with my peers, but if I did dreds, the pressure for my hair to look perfect would be gone. I could just focus on being myself. I could focus on what I need to do, not what I look like. I could express my creativity, instead of following the crowds. The more I think about it, the more I am thinking that I should get my comb out, a little bit of beeswax and get to work 🙂 What are your thoughts on dreds?